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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Wallbanger by Alice Clayton - Review

OH MY GOD...I don't even know where the hell to begin with this book! I read this on a whim because someone recommended it and said I would love it. From the first page until the last, I laughed out loud so many times I lost count! Hell I even laughed during the steamy sex scenes between Simon and Caroline; they're witty banter was fantastic!!! There came a point that I laughed so hard I had to put my Kindle down because I was doubled over on my couch laughing!

 First you have good old Caroline Reynolds who moves into this awesome apartment, has the best job as an Interior designer and a cat name Clive that needs his own book! Then there’s yummy, melt in your mouth, Simon Parker who lives next door to Caroline. How do they meet…well by Wall-banging of course! Caroline is kept awake at all hours of the night by her neighbor Simon nailing his lady companions into his mattress and his headboard into Carolines wall! I swear the names that Caroline gives Simons “harem" as she calls them, is outrageously hilarious. You have the spanker, the meower (Clive's one and only) and the giggler. I just about died when Caroline described each one of these ladies.
There were so many good parts in this book that I can’t even begin to write about all of them! I love how Caroline first calls Simon “Wallbanger” and Simon calls Caroline “Cockblocker”. I mean does it get any more real than that?!?!? The story wasn’t an unrealistic, melt all over, swoon worthy love story. The author kept this story real and VERY relatable. The part of the book where the characters were having “in the head conversations” was so hilarious, I swear I thought I was reading conversations I've had with myself in the past!
Again I can’t go into all of my favorite parts but some were Tata’s, Backbone/Wang vs. Nerves, Clive the cat and his encounter with “Purina”, the Dawson’s Creek comparison, “The Woo to his Goo” and being all Dr. Seusian! When Caroline named her lower half as “LC” or Lower Caroline…wow…and the fact that she gave LC a personality! LC would “kick stuff and throw chairs across the room”! Oh and we can’t forget LC and Wang a possible new rap duo, that had me rolling! But my all time favorite part in this book was:
”If your belly button tastes this good – fuck Caroline. I can’t wait to taste your pussy."
"There are certain things a woman needs to hear at different times in her life: You got the job. Your ass looks great in that skirt. I would love to meet your mother. And when used in just the right context, need to hear the P-word.” 
I should not have drank water at that particular moment but I did and it went everywhere!!! 

Alice Clayton keeps it as real as you can get! There’s no bullshit or fancy dancing around…she shoots straight as an arrow! Read the book…I promise you won’t regret it!!

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