Ok, so- this book totally threw me for a loop. Before I say anymore, I want to make sure you know there is about to be a MAJOR SPOILER ALERT so turn away now if you aren't interested!
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OH.MY.GOSH. This book did a lot of things to me. It broke my heart, it put a bandaid over the wounds, it made me start to see the light, totally wrecked me, and restored my faith in people and marriage. That is a lot for one book to accomplish. Please be patient with me on this review as I've just finished this book and I'm not sure I'm emotionally capable to be writing the review already!
This book started off introducing us to two best friends, Hope and Nick. These two were attached at the hip growing up and the true definition of best friends. It was great to see Hope's early years as the book was told from her POV and Nick was definitely an important character in the book.
Next, we discover grown up Hope. Hope and Nick got separated at a young age and they lost contact. We start reading about Hope's life now, which includes 8 year old Charlie and hubby, Jamie. Hope's life seems like the picture perfect life. She's got the sweetest little boy- he sticks up for the new kid with special needs, he's loving, and is a great kid overall. She's got a husband who worships her and their little boy and she's never been happier.Then, the unthinkable happens. Charlie drowns. As if this weren't bad enough, Hope was at the beach with him that day and has taken on the guilt of not being able to be with him or save him when it happened.
I can only imagine the feelings Hope must've been feeling. Not to mention, Jamie (without directly saying so) held Hope responsible for the loss of their son. Over the 8/9 months of Charlie being gone, Jamie has been aloof and stand-offish. Hope eventually has to leave to get some space between her and Jamie, after finding out about a major mistake on his part. The majority of the book was Hope trying to come to terms with the loss of her son, her feelings regarding the whole tragic accident, how she was going to handle not being a Mom anymore (or at least not having Charlie here) and what she deserves as a person and a wife.
Enter, Nick. Nick is home visiting his father on leave from the Marines. He's going through his own personal tragedy and the two best friends find each other at the perfect time. Their friendship, their love for one another, honestly saves the other. Nick helped Hope realize that she needs to be ok with herself and Hope helped Nick realize he mattered in this world and he was someone worth loving.
Hope and Nick make a decision that seems so right, and feels so good, in the moment, that everything else goes out of their mind. As a reader, at this point, I've developed this intense love for Nick. He's been there for Hope. He's built her back up, all the while encouraging her to do whatever is best for her, be with whomever makes her happy. Nick goes off to military training just as Jamie makes a reappearance in Hope's life trying to being making amends after a year of acting as a complete stranger.
As Hope is trying to figure out her life and her feelings, she gets the most devastating news.
I just can't. I did not see this major turn of events coming. I can't believe Nick is gone. I saw the pregnancy coming a mile away, but I DID NOT see the author killing off Nick. AH! I don't know how else this story could've played out, but I was literally sobbing at the 83% mark and on. My heart breaks at the end of this book, but it also gets glued back together a little bit. I love that, as strange as it is, all of the tragedy brought husband and wife back together. I'm glad to read a book where husband and wife can go through an unbearable situation and still come out strong, together. Jamie wasn't able to father anymore children, so the author makes you believe this was almost Nick's gift to Hope and her husband. Unfortunately, there's not many books that display that or many real life situations that display that anymore either, for that matter. It definitely restored my faith in a strong partnership and couple, even if my heart was seriously breaking at the loss of Hope's best friend.
I'll leave you with this little tidbit. It's probably my favorite gif and you'll see it many times from me probably, but it's totally appropriate for me and this book. This is my face reading the last 15% of this book:
Playlist:
Screaming Infidelities by Dashboard Confessional
Fireflies by Ron Pope
Blue Ocean Floor by Justin Timberlake
Sad by Maroon 5
Home by Phillip Phillips
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