Butterfly Dreams by A. Meredith Walters Review!!

"Stop thinking about your life in increments. Seconds. Minutes. Days. Look at the bigger picture and embrace whatever time you have. Don't look constantly toward the end. Enjoy the right now." - A. Meredith Walters, Butterfly Dreams

This book, y'all... it got me. It's been a while since I wrote a review. That's not because I haven't read any good books. I have. I just haven't had that urge, that need to get my thoughts and feelings out via review for so long, not until Butterfly Dreams. There were parts of this book that I loathed. There were parts of this book that I adored. There were parts of this book where I wanted to cry. There were parts of this book where I wanted to scream. This book induced so many emotions in me.

To me, this story is all about Corin and Beckett. Corin has gone through quite a bit in her young life. She has had so much trauma and loss, she feels destined for it to continue to follow her. She is convinced that she's going to be the next in line. On top of all of her fears of loss and traumatized childhood, she also has some pretty significant anxiety. She struggles greatly in social settings. When she is around people and talks, she is abrupt and honest, some may say to a fault.

"I was the murderer of chitchat. My mouth was where small talk went to die."

I found her honesty and lack of filter throughout the book refreshing. I would think Beckett did, too. There were SO many times I wanted to reach through the book and just SHAKE HER and tell her to move on, reach out, ask for help, understand what was really going on underneath. There were other times, though, where I could identify with her. I have anxiety myself and I know how easily it can take over. I also know how good it is to have good things in your life to focus on, to look forward to, which is why I was so excited and proud of her when she allowed herself to have a relationship with Beckett.

Beckett Kingsley is one of the good guys. One of the best, actually. Beckett had something really life changing happen to him and he had a choice to make. He could've chosen to succumb to those dreary depressive thoughts or he could choose to live. To look for the good in every day. He did, and he encouraged Corin to do the same.

"Being scared is never an excuse to hide. You should wake up every morning thankful you have another day to enjoy."

See?!?! Everyone needs some Beck in their lives.

"I think that you're so scared of dying that you've forgotten what it's like to live. You won't let yourself. But, Cor, I won't let you do that to yourself. Take it from a man who almost lost everything- you can't focus on the end. You have to concentrate on what's right in front of you."

Ah! Beckett is so good, and he is so good FOR Corin. 

If what I've shared so far piques your interest, I urge you to read this story. I could've posted the synopsis or more details, but I don't really want to. Whenever I choose a book to read, I read very little about it before starting in. That way, I can be totally blown away or totally unimpressed. I want to see the story play out before my eyes, instead of already knowing pieces of the story. So, I apologize if you want more from this review, but know what I've said already. I wanted to strangle, hug, scream, and cheer for Corin so many times. I wanted to cry, hug, and love Beckett immensely. I want to thank A. Meredith Walters for another fabulous book. I don't think it takes the place of favorite over Clay and Maggie (also another great book- Find You In The Dark by A. Meredith Walters), but it is a definite close second!! 

Here's the links if you're interested in Butterfly Dreams :) 

Amazon    Barnes & Noble   Kobo   iBooks

Me Before You by JoJo Moyes Review!!

"Push yourself. Don't settle. Just live well. Just live."

Where can I even start with this review? Below is what I typed as my initial review on Goodreads as soon as I finished this book:

Me Before You (Me Before You, #1) 

by Jojo Moyes (Goodreads Author) 

GA Bookaholics's review 

Jun 17, 2016  ·  edit

Formal review to come. What I'll say for now: this book destroyed me and I am an ugly-crying, sniffling mess at present.

If you have not read this book, DO NOT READ THIS REVIEW! 

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS!

The above sentiment hasn't changed. I am writing this review, the next day, after completing the book. Maybe it's still too soon. Maybe it'll always be too soon. One thing I am glad of was seeing the sun come up this morning. I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning reading this, silently sobbing in bed as I read and my husband snored away. 

I don't really know how I feel about it. What I can say? JoJo Moyes is a fantastic author. She knows how to create characters that will stay with you for a long time. She is able to create such a strong emotional connection to a fictional story she created in her head and put down onto paper. Her story annihilated my heart but made compassion scream louder than any book I've read. This book will stay with me. I don't know if I'm emotionally stable enough to see the movie.

"You are scored on my heart, Clark. You were from the first day you walked in, with your ridiculous clothes and your complete inability to ever hide a single thing you felt."

I originally typed, "I don't know which character I loved more" but that's a lie. Will. Will is the character I loved more. I had a love/hate relationship with Louisa. She spent most of her life taking care of others, putting her needs last which I admire but also makes me want to shake her. I admire her helping to take care of her family. I don't admire her staying in a dead-end relationship because she didn't want more for herself and/or didn't think she could do better. Unfortunately, I think that is a reality for way too many people in our society and I don't like characters that encourage that passivity. 

Will helped her to see she can do better. She can do better in relationships. She can do better career-wise. She can do better in experience, laughter, love, and her future in general. Will would've been better. Will created a whole new world for her and she was happy to jump in. 

This isn't to say Will was perfect by any means. Sure, he was cranky and he was a playboy before his accident. But, the crankiness is understandable when you're constantly in pain and/or mourning the loss of a life you used to have. I am angry, but also can understand why the author did this to us. She developed this character (Will) that is really so easy to fall in love with. She got us to join in on Louisa's hope that she is making a difference, that maybe, just maybe, she'll be able to change his mind. There's one portion of the book that Nathan, or maybe even Will, tells Lou that she should've known better... she should've known she wouldn't be able to change his mind. And it did matter. Those six months MATTERED to Clark (Lou/Louisa) as much as they did to Will. 

"Time slowed, and stilled. It was just the two of us, me murmuring in the empty, sunlit room. Will didn't say much. He didn't answer back, or add a dry comment, or scoff. He nodded occasionally, his head pressed against mine, and murmured, or let out a small sound that could have been satisfaction at another good memory. "It has been the best six months of my entire life." "Funnily enough, Clark, mine too." And then, just like that, my heart broke. My face crumpled, my composure went and I held him tightly and I stopped caring that he could feel the shudder of my sobbing body because grief swamped me. It overwhelmed me and tore at my heart and my stomach and my head and it pulled me under, and I couldn't bear it."

Ugh. It wrecked me. This book, this story, just wrecked me. I'm not going to get into the politics of what happened and if it was ok, if it wasn't, etc. All I am going to say is that my heart hurts for Will and all he lost, as well as Louisa. There is always a silver lining, though and at least they found each other, even for just a short time. 

That's all for me, folks. I can't write/think/obsess over this story any more. I encourage you to read it. It will definitely remind you... to live. To embrace life. To strive for more. To feel.