"If you only shine light on your flaws, all your perfects will dim." - Colleen Hoover, All Your Perfects
Y'all, this book got me! How I let a Colleen Hoover book slide by me is a shock to begin with, but to let this book go unread since it was published July of 2018... I'm beside myself. Thankfully, I have since rectified that situation and devoured this book within 24 hours.
Due to the nature of this book, this review is going to have SPOILERS!!
I will try to keep it mostly spoil free, but there is something I feel the need to point out before any potential reader dives in, as I was made aware of it ahead of time and am so glad I knew.
STOP HERE IF YOU'RE ANTI SPOILERS!!
Before I get too deep into this review, I want to say that there is a potential trigger warning for anyone struggling with infertility. If you are in the throes of how heartbreaking an infertility struggle can be (and I say that with empathy as I have struggled with it myself), this book may be a hard read for you. It is the main theme of the couple the book centers around so I just want to give warning that it can be an incredibly sensitive topic to read about, especially if you are or have struggled with infertility.
The nature of this book and the emotions the couple face as they go through it are what I love and hate about it. I hate how heartbreaking it is. As I mentioned, I know the feelings well and I could see myself in Quinn's shoes every time she took a pregnancy test and saw negative, or felt like crying every time someone asked her when she was having a baby, or started to resent sex because ultimately it became a means to an end to an ending she may never be able to have. I loved this book though because it detailed her feelings so well and the feelings of so many others who have had this struggle. This is a book of fiction, but there are so many parts of it that I personally have thought or experienced or just felt. The struggle in their marriage. Her struggle with herself as a woman. Her mixed feelings for her husband.
Let's stop right here and address one key piece of this book. Graham. Quinn's husband. Quinn's patient, loving, fiercely fighting for her, husband. His character made me love this book. It was also a good perspective for me, because while I tried to understand how our struggle with infertility effected my husband, I don't think I could really see it from his perspective just because I wasn't in his perspective, you know? Our struggle was/is very similar in that it is me that has the difficulty to conceive, not him. It was interesting getting to hear how he felt some, especially towards the end of the book. Ultimately, Graham made it known that Quinn would always be enough for him, whether they had a child or not. She was enough, and isn't that something that we all long to hear and keep hearing? There is one part of the book where Graham falters from the pedestal, but even with what happened, I couldn't really stay mad at him because of the situation they are in. Thinking about that part of the book reminds me about one of my favorite quotes from it...
"Apologies are good for admitting regret, but they do very little in removing the truth from the actions that caused the regret."
What a gut punch, right? It's so true, though. And I loved that quote in regards to the aforementioned faltering of Graham's awesomeness, and Quinn's ability to see past it.
Anyway, the book follows this couple from the day they met through the harrowing struggle of marriage, infertility, and all the other things that come with joining your life with someone else's. It's so good. Colleen Hoover's writing is on par with all of her other books and constantly keeps you captivated and invested in these fictional characters' lives. Like I said, this was a 24 hour read for me and it would've been done even faster if other normal adulthood duties didn't get in the way! One of those distractions would be spending time with my precious 2 year old that I am so grateful we were able to have after a long time struggling to bring her into the world <3 For any who are still reading this and who are going through the struggle, I'm here for you, I'm hoping and praying for you, and sending all the baby dust I can!
One last thing before I close this review up. I know this has been a different review from what I normally write. There aren't any funny gifs or other random pictures. There's not a typical sequence of the story and a deep dive into the characters. I wanted to write this review about the heart of the book and my heart after reading it. I didn't want fluff for this review because this book doesn't deserve fluff, it deserves grit and heart and truth. I hope that makes you interested in the book. I hope I've enticed you enough to check this book out and see how it ends, because you need to know how it ends! I'm going to leave you with one final quote from it that just speaks so much of their relationship and their love. This quote was said during a time when the couple were strongly considering the future of their marriage and these lines just gutted me!
"And I promise...I swear... that if you choose to end things between us, I will love you more as you're walking out the door than on the day you walked down the aisle. I hope you choose the road that will make you the happiest. Even if it's not a choice I'll love, I will still always love you. Whether I'm a part of your life or not. You deserve happiness more than anyone I know. I love you."
Okay, one gif.
